


Night Terrors

by KB9VCN



Category: El Hazard: The Magnificent World
Genre: Angst, F/M, Nightmares, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-31
Updated: 2002-05-31
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:16:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8760157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Written May 2002; angst; about 900 words.
This was partly inspired by Emily Siazon's "Nemurenai."
This takes place shortly after the end of the first OVA series.
This contains nightmarish violence and extreme angst.  Reader discretion is advised.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written May 2002; angst; about 900 words.
> 
> This was partly inspired by Emily Siazon's "Nemurenai."
> 
> This takes place shortly after the end of the first OVA series.
> 
> This contains nightmarish violence and extreme angst. Reader discretion is advised.

I do not need sleep. We know that, both Makoto and I. A demon god can't need sleep. Death and destruction can't wait for sleep.

No rest... for the wicked?

I have been forced into stasis. It was not as bad as it sounds. It is deeper than any human coma, but it is not death. Perhaps a suspended animation? There were no dreams. There was nothing.

And I forced myself into stasis, for ten thousand years, when I waited for him. And in self-induced stasis, my brain was active at times, but I was in control. And I dreamed only of him.

But I've never slept, or dreamed... like a human.

But he wants me to sleep. To rest. With him. And I want to make him happy. For the first time in my life, I want to make someone happy.

So, for him, I will sleep.

I changed into these night clothes. And I climbed into this bed. Our bed. It's so soft. And warm. And he is beside me. And he is also soft, softer than me in many ways, and he is warm too.

He is kissing me good night? On the cheek. How... sweet.

I wait, and I... let him go first. He falls asleep so quickly. Poor Makoto. He must be tired from worrying about me.

I know how humans sleep, and I know how he sleeps, but I monitor his physical processes, his respiration, his brain wave activity.

And I watch him sleep. I know our years together will be all too short, and I want to remember him well, after... he's gone. When I'm alone again...

No. Do not think of that now. Go to sleep.

As a bio-mechanical construct, I can imitate, or simulate, nearly any human activity. But I want to sleep... naturally. I want to do this right.

I relax my body, and free my mind. I let my thoughts wander. And after some time, my thoughts have gone... strange.

Is this... a dream? Random recall of previous experiences, inter-cut with surreal sequences of imagined stimuli?

But I shouldn't be thinking like this now. This is still what humans might call a "lucid dream," and I must stop thinking.

But I'm still thinking of you. And now I'm dreaming of you...

—

Oh... Makoto. You've found me. You've come back to your world. For me.

And you've brought my key-staff. After we embrace, you recharge me. You... give me life. You gave me freedom, and you gave me your memories, and your love. And now you give me a new life.

And you give my key-staff back to me.

And I smile...

And... I aim it at you?

Oh no.

The key-staff builds up a charge of energy.

No. Don't. Stop.

The smile falls from your face, and you take a step back. But you don't run, and you don't beg for your life. You only ask me why. Why am I doing this. But I don't answer. I only smile.

Oh no. Stop. Please. Why AM I doing this? Why can't I stop?

I fire the key-staff. And I kill you.

No.

I've killed you. It is... the only thing that I can do. I kill.

No!

And now, I shall destroy your school. Your city! Your country! Your WORLD!

NO!!

In the dream, I laugh.

—

In our bed, I scream.

I've cried out in anger, and pain, and fear. But I've never screamed like this. In terror.

He's sitting up beside me, with his arms around me, calling my name, begging me to stop. But I can't seem to stop screaming. I scream long after a human would pass out from not breathing.

And now, I'm crying again. But I've never cried like this. Deep sobbing. Wailing. The sorrow, the thousands of years of sorrow, made me dream of killing him, and the dream made me scream like this, and now it's all making me cry like this.

I had almost killed him in reality. Many times. But I thought that I had made peace with my past. Why does this terrify me so now? It was... only a dream.

I know that some very small children have night terrors, terrible nightmares, that affect them like this. I remember this, even as I cling to him, crying loudly. Like a child. But... I am not a child. I am thousands of years old.

Perhaps I will never make peace with my past. Perhaps it will always haunt me, in my dreams, in my thoughts, in everything I am and everything I do, no matter what I do. Forever.

And perhaps, a demon god without a control circuit cannot control its emotions. Perhaps... I am just beginning... to go mad...

I have awoken others. I can sense them moving in the palace, talking amongst themselves, coming to our room to see what's wrong.

But I don't turn to the door, I won't lift my head up from his shoulder, I can't bear to open my eyes and look anyone in the face. And I've finally stopped screaming, but I can't seem to stop crying. I might never stop crying.

And I can't sleep. I'm sorry, Makoto. I can't sleep.


End file.
